So, the Big Brother phenomenon strikes for the third time.

I'm always interested in who the twelve that make the grade will be because I'm secretly, and rather naively it turns out, hoping that they might allow someone with a disability in.

They manage to get the black, Asian, gay, bi-sexual, larger than average size, Scottish, Irish and "regional" quotas filled nicely, they've even got people who are over thirty-five in the house, but there's now been thirty-seven Big Brother housemates in total (including Sunita's replacement Sophie) and not one has had even a whisper of a disability.

Apparently none of the disabled applicants had the right personality for the game show, or, could it be that anyone with a mobility impairment who applied this year didn't have a chance, as they wouldn't have been able to get in or out of the house because of the small matter of the thirty odd stairs in the way.

The house was certainly not built with access in mind; apart from the stairs at the entrance there are also steps down to "the diary room".

I might be incurring the wrath of Channel Four executives right here (not a very sensible move for someone that makes a living from television,) but it looks very clear to me that disability has never seriously been on the agenda for the Big Brother programme makers.

Maybe three people from "ethnic minority groups" and two Scots equal a disabled person in the strange world of television quotas.

If even half the housemates that have been chosen up until now were interesting and charismatic, I might believe it would be hard to find all that and a disability to boot amongst the hopefuls.

However, the general calibre of the house members has been very poor, especially this year. Take Lee for example, he's a sweet guy and he has a great body but there's not a lot to him. If he wasn't black and from Leicester he wouldn't be in the house, it's as simple as that. And PJ is as dull as they come and has had nothing to contribute to life in the house whatsoever but he's from Birmingham, so that makes it alright.

People have blatantly been chosen to be "representative" and there's a strong smell of political correctness emanating from the house so why not have the token disabled person while they're ticking the boxes? They can't come out of it any worse than any of the others and it would help social attitudes acclimatise towards disability.

How great would it be to see someone with a disability mucking in with daily life in the Big Brother household? No emphasis on the "impairment", just another housemate creating part of the house dynamic and becoming a hero or a villain like everyone else. What an excellent opportunity for a bit of disability PR hey? A chance to cultivate a bit of social inclusion.

"Oh but this is an entertainment show, we're not social workers," comes the indignant cry from the Big Brother producers, but they don't fool me. They are nothing but social workers; they promote race relations, fight homophobia, they narrow the north-south divide, they're a veritable United Nations and it's no bad thing, but they're still as chicken as all the other programme makers when it comes to disability.

Obviously, I'd never be allowed anywhere near the Big Brother house, in fact, I'll probably be shot on sight if I ever get within the vicinity of the Channel Four building again with the amount of bad press I've given them recently. Although saying that, as my vituperations are only being read by the disabled population which as far as they're concerned isn't even worth representing, they're probably not bothered.

But I have a cunning plan; how about all of you disabled posse reading this, apply for Big Brother next year? (See how my cunning plan means everyone putting their head on the block except me!) If the producers are bombarded with disabled candidates, maybe they'll start to take us seriously?! Surely, it's worth a shot!?