A while ago, I announced my intentions to pursue a career in acting and whilst I haven’t made much headway in that direction, there is something I can tell you about that keeps my floundering dream slightly buoyant and demonstrates that I haven’t come to a complete dead-end.

A couple of months ago a few of us thespians with disabilities (including my mates Lisa Hammond and Mat Fraser) got together to write and perform a bunch of frankly bizarre yet distinctly humorous sketches which were filmed for “Ouch!”*;“the BBC’s new website that reflects life as a disabled person.”

If I didn’t have a computer from the Dark Ages or if perhaps I knew anything at all about computers, I’d have been able to log onto the site, check out my comedy prowess and give you a little review. However, I’m not technologically inclined (something I blame squarely on my mum who finds the remote control a challenge), so haven’t been able to work out what I need to download to view the clips.

I can tell you that we all found ourselves and each other hilarious comic geniuses at the time and were barely able to get the filming done we were so hysterical with laughter. I’m certain you won’t have seen anything like it before; it’s crazy stuff.

The “Ouch!” blurb says the website is “not here as a resource centre or a help shop; it’s more about life, living, creativity, community, humour and the wider view. There are many fantastic websites that offer huge banks of information and we didn’t want to duplicate. However access and rights are very important to us and are at the heart of what we do.”

And now for something completely different; I’m trying to “get better”.

I’ve embarked on a project which will get me out of the wheelchair and into the ranks of the able-bodied. Yes, I’m planning to defect. In this column, I’ll tell you how it all started and then offer my progress report as I go along.

In September, my mum and I were featured in The Times newspaper’s Relative Values section. The article focused on my disability history and why and how it had all happened and I was quoted as saying I believed I would recover (which is true.) Then I received a letter from someone called “The Mind Instructor” saying he may be able to help me. As I had been having healing from a healer in Thailand who predicted I would get better, I figured I didn’t need any more help so I ignored the letter but kept it.

On 1st February, I was feeling a bit down and I found the letter. I thought I may as well speak to the guy and find out what he does, so I called “The Mind Instructor” A.K.A Hratch Ogali** and he came to see me that afternoon. I immediately felt at ease with what he told me. To put it simply, he believes I have literally paralysed myself with my emotions and if I learn to deal with emotional stress in a different way and I no longer internalise negative, destructive feelings, I will start to get my movement back and ultimately, I’ll be able to walk.

This will sound totally weird to many of you but it makes perfect sense to me. I have been brought up homoeopathically and with the belief that you have to look at the whole make-up of a person and their environment in order to treat physical problems effectively; this is the basis of all “holistic” and “alternative” medicine.

Hratch said he would work with me and introduce me to various “mind instructions” (literally instructing your mind what you want it to do) and other techniques on a spiritual, mental and physical level to help eliminate patterns and habits that I have unwittingly created, subconsciously, and have been disempowering me; these are behaviours that I adopted in my formative years. Obviously, it’s not something that happens overnight; I have to really work hard for this transformation to take place but I believe I will master myself, free my body from my disability and get out of this wheelchair for good.

To make such radical changes to my personality and my physical body takes a huge amount of energy and concentration. Hratch observed, and I was aware, that I tended to lose myself in other people’s problems to the extent where it would deplete me. If any of my friends, family or even acquaintances had any sort of problem, I was in there trying to help, trying to please and trying to be important but I was neglecting my own needs so I decided not to see or speak to anyone for six months.

It was a huge adjustment at first but after a few days, I just felt relieved that I had permission to release the self-imposed burden of other people’s worries and dramas. Without spending half my life on the phone or socialising, I was now forced to focus on my situation and my feelings and I started to write a diary about my recovery process.

I realise this is highly inflammatory information I’m sharing with you here; a disabled person trying to get better, looking for a cure, not willing to accept their disability. I can only be honest about my disability. I am not prepared to pretend I enjoy being disabled or that I feel it is part of me because I don’t. I feel trapped, resentful and angry about my disability and I hate being dependent on other people; I have to recover and I will do whatever it takes to get there, there’s no other choice for me. I have started to improve already and in my next column, I will tell you more.

My talented and beautiful friend, Alice Martineau, who you may have seen in the press recently because she’s a singer/songwriter who has Cystic Fibrosis and is waiting for a heart, lung, liver transplant, is being featured in Channel 4’s “Natural Born Talent”; six short films about disabled artists. The first one goes out on Monday July 15th at 19:55, Alice’s film will be on Tues 16th at 19:55, the others are on Wed 17th at 19:55 and 00:00 and Thurs 18th at 19:55 and 00:05. On Fri 19th at 19:30, a compilation of all six films will be shown.

I went to the Mobility Road show at Donnington as part of my promotion work for Ford (who have loaned me a Galaxy for a year) and got given a copy of a video made by Ford and The Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation Mobility Centre called “In, Out and All About; Getting Mobile”. It demonstrates the easiest ways to get in and out of a vehicle, how to load a chair and shows the latest adaptations and tips for safer driving.

To get hold of a copy, (it’s free to borrow), contact your local Ford Motability Accredited dealership. You can call MAGIC on freephone 0800 240 241 to find where your nearest dealership is located.