When hotel "reservations" hear that you're in a wheelchair, they assume that you and your partner require separate twin beds rather than a double bed. So, when you arrive and gently point out the oversight whilst smiling politely, they very often instantly upgrade you to a suite.

Sometimes this is because they genuinely have no double rooms left, but more often they do this because everyone secretly knows why the mistake was made in the first place and a little guilt has seeped into the equation. Either way, you're laughing all the way to your flash, ultra spacious room which you can wheelie around at full speed and make a point of having tremendous amounts of sex in.

I've been in Thailand for five weeks now. The last two columns I wrote before I left and I haven't managed to answer many of your e-mails since I arrived here because I've been far too busy working on my tan.

Christmas was spent in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand where my Mum and her partner have a house. We have lots of Thai friends there, most of whom speak no English. As our Thai vocabulary extends to "sawasdee-ka" (hello) and "kapkun-ka" (thank you), we communicate largely with hugs, smiles and present giving. It's very refreshing actually; words can complicate things and are open to misinterpretation whereas you can't confuse the meaning of a hug or a smile.

50 Thai friends joined us for Christmas day including our builder and plumber. It was so groovy; my Mum got the local "flower" restaurant which makes all its dishes with flowers to cater for us. We had blue rice, dyed with the blue from the "sweet pea" flower, (which alarmed some of our friends who had only ever seen white rice before), banana flower salad and rose water to drink.

On Boxing Day, I flew to Krabi Island and spent a few days on the powdery white beaches that Thailand is so famous for. Beaches are not wheelchair friendly, of course, so many tourists and locals were recruited to assist.

To get from beach to beach, you take a "long tail" boat which is basically a very rickety canoe shaped affair, about 20 feet long with planks of wood for seats. They are often being bailed out as you get in and it does cross your mind that you may be inviting a watery death but the scenery as you putter along the coastline soon reassures you that there are worse ways to end your days.

Seeing the crystal clear water made me desperate to go snorkelling. The last time I did this was at the Great Barrier Reef four years ago and it was an incredible experience, so I was really looking forward to coming eyeball to eyeball with some Thai sea creatures.

My partner and I took a long tail to Chicken Island, not far from Krabi. We anchored, put on our life-jackets and I got the boat drivers to help push me off the side into the sea but the bulky life-jacket instantly flipped me forward and my head was submerged.

I splashed frantically and the boat drivers had to pull me upright with help from my partner who was leaning over the side of the boat. It was all a bit hairy but once I'd got the life-jacket off and my armbands on and I had my partner on one side and the guide, who'd never had such an eventful trip, on the other, we managed to glimpse a few stripy customers.

Now, I've come to Phuket, a two hour hair-raising taxi ride from Krabi (the taxi drivers here like nothing better than to overtake at high speed on sharp bends). All the accommodation was booked up as it's peak season, but we were lucky to find a stunning resort on a white beach which has just opened so hardly anyone is here. It's covered in steps and is not accessible in any way but it's so beautiful, it's worth the inconvenience and the staff are very helpful with carrying the chair.

So, I spent New Year on a secluded beach in Thailand and right now I am in my room, watching the sea lapping the shore, twenty metres from where I sit.

I've never experienced anything more idyllic, this was one of the beaches used in the film "The Beach". I'm off for a dip now, hope you're all having fun wherever you are! Happy New Year!

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Posted: 2 Jan, 2001