Isolation, friends and meets

[BrokenWings]

Hi, I've only just joined so forgive me if I've put this in the wrong place!

As a result of my disability and lack of independence in terms of getting from A to B, I find myself very isolated and what friends I do see, are all able bodied and they find it hard to understand my fatigue which can be frustrating.

I was wondering if there was a meet section on the site? If not, if anyone's interested in talking or meeting up do feel free to email me. I'm twenty two, female, from North London and have a muscle wasting condition, which mainly affects me in terms of chronic fatigue, consistent muscle pain, spasms and how far I can walk.

I must admit i've always viewed myself in a negative light due to my disability but it's a new year and I want to start embracing the fact that I am who I am and that no human is perfect and appreciate how lucky I am while focusing on what I can do rather then dwell on the negatives of what I can't do. As a result, i've joined this forum in hope of accepting myself and hopefully meeting a friend or two that understands.

Thanks for reading xx

[Stepheninleeds]

We all know how you feel. I have no friends in RL, not one. My life is online. We do not have such a feature on here, but I would suggest things like penpal sites, Yahoo & Google groups, Facebook. I like FB, just got into it actually.

Do not put yourself down, it is hard when you feel the world is ignoring you, but as you can see, you can change that. You can make friends who accept you as you are.

[BrokenWings]

Sorry to hear you're even more isolated then me. It must be incredibly tough for you. Aw thats a shame they don't have a meet section on here, as it would have been nice to meet up with people in the same boat and I would of thought a lot of people would be interested in that. Thanks for your kind words of support *hugs*

Yes I use facebook too, http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...627785&sk=wall.

Feel free to add me for a chat sometime should you wish.

Take care

[phyzzezee]

Hello, I'd love to meet you irl but sadly, like Stephen, I'm in Leeds so it's not likely to happen ! Where else do you visit online though? Some of us are on Facebook and I also have a livejournal account (which I have rather neglected recently due to lack of time). Livejournal has a wonderful community called the LadiesLoos and there seem to be lots on London ladies on there, as well as quite a few with disabilities. Also, do you have any hobbies that might allow you to make new friends, online to start with, perhaps? For example, I like to knit so I am on the Ravelry site which has hundreds of groups, some based in London. Anyway... good for you making this start, and welcome here

[phyzzezee]

We all know how you feel. I have no friends in RL, not one. My life is online.

Stephen, this is awful! This must change! When the weather warms up we should arrange to meet up somewhere?

[Stepheninleeds]

Yes, it is. Everyone abandoned us. That would be nice, if it can be arranged. Not sure I can risk leaving my mother now, if she has another bad fall when I was not here.

[BrokenWings]

Hello, I'd love to meet you irl but sadly, like Stephen, I'm in Leeds so it's not likely to happen ! Where else do you visit online though? Some of us are on Facebook and I also have a livejournal account (which I have rather neglected recently due to lack of time). Livejournal has a wonderful community called the LadiesLoos and there seem to be lots on London ladies on there, as well as quite a few with disabilities. Also, do you have any hobbies that might allow you to make new friends, online to start with, perhaps? For example, I like to knit so I am on the Ravelry site which has hundreds of groups, some based in London. Anyway... good for you making this start, and welcome here

Hey thanks for replying and some good advice there. I didn't know about Live journal actually or that site Ravelry so will take a look on that site too. I did reply to Stephen's comment (so don't think i'm ignoring you) with my facebook link but it seems the post needs to be moderated first. You can look up Shanty Barnden and it should come up with an angel avatar so anyone can add me should they wish to chat sometime

I don't really have hobbies as such but have actually thought about taking up sewing recently, though I don't think i'd be able to do hand knitting due to my condition. Generally I like listening to music and like a variety of genres. My favourite bands are probably Placebo, Archive, Thriving Ivory and Bon Jovi.

I also like watching films and again will watch most genres but like most women, love those dreaded dramas men love to pretend to hate My favourite films include; 'seven pounds', 'blow', 'the notebook', 'the business', 'the departed' and 'cast away'.

I've recently started getting into watching TV shows and watch shows like 'Dexter', 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', 'Friends', 'Criminal Minds', 'Bones' and i'm on series one of 'Fringe'. After I'm finished with 'Fringe', I'm going to start watching other shows so if anyone has any recommendations, I will watch and see what I think. I also love animals, especially dogs and have a Cavalier King Charles dog. I don't really mind talking to people with differing interests though.

I mainly just use facebook, msn and I have skype but would rather people PM if they wish for that or ask me direct on FB.

Thanks for both of your replies x

[Stepheninleeds]

No problem, we are just glad to reply to you. I would also suggest you look for local groups run by the Council or charities. Many have them & some may suit you. Some community centres have activities & groups too. I will look you up on FB, & try to add you as a friend. I am Stepheninleeds on there. Also, checkout your library, they often list such things as I have mentioned. You may find on FB groups that are local to you, & where people meet. This I feel is where you need to start, with these sort of things, & make friends that way.

[phyzzezee]

Well I was going to suggest including your mum too if she wished. She's probably around the same age as me lol. I am so sorry to hear of her fall this morning. Falling is my greatest fear. There is no way I would be able to get up on my own. Even my able bodied husband would have a problem helping me up. The main thing to be grateful for is that you were there and could have called for help had she not been so determined.

I was looking for a private messaging option on this forum but not found anything yet. I'll send you a message via facebook. I need to know where you are in Leeds in order to try and find ways to help. If only I wasn't so feeble myself currently I could just get in the car and visit but atm I am myself dependant on my husband for assistance with much of my daily activity. I know that where I live there is a local group who provide just the kind of support you and your mum would find really helpful. Maybe we can find something similar in your area.

[Stepheninleeds]

She has her church, she is happy with that, but TY. Falling is mine too. I would have t try to do what she did, as I stood there & watched, get to the stairs & somehow use them, or the phone. Yes, I have to think of it that way too, again TY. It shows it was not too bad a fall.

I appreciate your support, it means a lot. She will not try with Social Services because of the bad things she has heard, seen, & the fact they turned us down do many times.

We cannot even get lifts for shopping. You know they have several in Leeds. No one will take us because of me, I am too young.