I'm blind and I still haven't come to terms with my disability, or accepted it, or however you want to put it. I have had it since birth so in theory I should be fine with it as I've never known any other life, but I'm not.
I used to get by, up until I was about 14, by saying it would be ok and I wouldn't be like this forever. I mean obviously I knew I would and that nothing could be done, but it was a way of dragging myself through the days. Now though I can't even do that. Loads of people in my year are learning to drive, or going out whenever they want and living the life I should have had. People always say it doesn't matter and that I can still have a wonderful life but that's not the point, the life I'm going to have isn't the one I want. Most people make decisions about their future but the one thing about myself I'd change has always been out of my controll.
The truth is I don't think I ever will accept it. I'm really independent, I have good mobility skills, I can cook and clean and pretty much look after myself. It's not that being blind stops me doing things like that. I'd do well at school if I could motivate myself but I can't because all I can see is this horrible existance forever. I don't deny that blind people get jobs and have kids and everything, it's just that I don't feel like I'm part of that. I don't want to be part of it.
I suppose the most ironic thing is that I keep a blog where I offer other people advice about being independent at school etc. I think it's because I know all that stuff, I'm happy to help other people, I just don't want to be in this situation myself.
I don't know if I can ever learn to like the me I am. If i'll ever stop wanting to be who I could have been. Please don't tell me I'll still have a happy and independent life, I've heard that all before. I want to know how I can try and accept myself, or if it's even possible.