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Thread: hi everybody.

  1. #1
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    hi everybody.

    im new to the forum and am feeling a bit confused and concerned.
    i recently had my esa assessment and got a letter today to say that after about 18 months of waiting and living like a monk ive been refused.
    to say im annoyed is an understatement.
    to start off i have to say im not a cripple and i can get about,but a lifetime of working on building sites and then an injury in a factory in 2007/8 pretty much finished me off.
    in 2004 after caring for my dad for 10 years when mom died i was thrown out of our nice bungalow (which was in a horrible area)surrounded by thugs and allways living on my nerves i had a spell in jail after going off the rails no ones fault but my own i know but saw some horrible things and had some horrible experiences.
    ive never been the same since,dont think i ever got over my moms death.
    my lower back is really bad,and my left shoulder is in constant pain some days i dont go out at all and regularly sleep for 3 hours in the middle of the day as i dont sleep at night.
    i can bath and put a meal in the microwave,but quite often dont eat as its only me and i basically dont really care.
    my ex is a bitch who even now 3 years after splitting up and caring for her and my daughter for 3 years after a back injury at work still delights in causing me problems.
    she kicked me out after telling me she'd not loved me for the last two years,then last year she got a massive payout from her place of work for the accident.
    i feel used by everyone ive ever loved,i feel used by the system i worked it out i saved the dwp about 800k over 10 years.
    i was homeless after being thrown out and only got housed when i told them i was thinking about killing myself.
    i was awarded pip a while back which everyone says is relly hard,but the woman was nice put me at ease and i just spilled my guts and told the truth.
    the guy who came to do my esa has put in his report he was here an hour,if he was here 20 minutes he was lucky.
    everytime i tried to talk and make a point he ignored me,there was no mention or questions of my mental health and self loathing for being in the state im in.
    he walked up the stairs behind me watching me puffing and panting and never even let me get my coat off and my breath back before interrogating me.
    he really seemed to be in a rush to be somewhere else.
    then when the report came back said i was well kemped,made good eye contact etc,he barely looked at me apart from when he was asking questions.
    for the last 15 months ive steadily been getting a bit happier but now im right back to thinking will i loose my flat,i dont see my kid cause of where i live and being surrounded by drunks and druggies.i really feel at the ond of the road again.

  2. #2
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    Hi superten67, from what you've wrote above you've survived a lot worse than this current situation so hang in there. The general advice is to ask for a mandatory reconsideration ,you have a month from the date of your decision letter to do this. Then if needed you can lodge an appeal . Contact the council and inform them of your dispute and they should keep paying your rent so don't worry.
    Also make sure you have fit notes that cover the period from when the decision was made to stop esa . If this is your first fit for work decision you can claim assessment rate esa once the court has accepted your appeal and dwp have it on the system.
    There's plenty of us on here been in the same boat and it's a horrid time ,like a kick in the face (I'd have preferred a kick in the face tbh) . But there's some very knowledgeable members giving sound advice thankfully.
    Might be a good idea to visit your local CAB to assist you also.

  3. #3
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    thanks helen its nice to know there are people to vent to even if nothing comes of it.normally i can take it or leave it as like you say ive got problems with my daughter who is the only bllod relative i have that i care about and now this today on top im having palpitations.
    it feels like the good old days when i was younger and i had an asthma attack and then felt like id been hit in the ribs with a cricket bat as id been so tense for a couple of hours.
    im just so sick of being in pain and when the pip people believed me i really felt like i was getting somewhere.
    ive allways worked and never ran away from it if it was there ive cracked on and now i need some help im made to feel like a criminal and its not right.
    ive been strong for a lot of years and was watching one foot in the grave last night where margaret tell mr sweeney your a good bloke and it will come right for you one day.and he says yes mrs meldrew ive done my fair share of good turns and ive pushed many old ladies arounf in chairs....but who's gonna be there to push me round when i need it?and today has hit me like a ton of bricks im thinking what is the point?i cant go for a walk round the block or do a bit of shopping without needing to lie down,stretch my back out and sleep for a few hours.im in agony sitting here now how is any employer goona want a wreck like that?then into the bargain all the hyatus getting sacked from jobs for not pulling your wait signing on and going for another job,im terrified and nowhere near as strong as i used to be.ive not got the energy to argue any more.and after spending most of today typing a letter telling them what i think of them and the uncaring idiot they sent out to see me after 18 months its allready in the post to go monday morning.i am just sick of having to justify myself after having pulled my weight most of my life,being a carer twice.ive been ill and in and out of hospital most of my early life and none of us should be getting put through this crap now.

  4. #4
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    Good that you've sent MR submission already ,just a waiting game now. Funny how we have a month to send ours but dwp can take as long as they want (I waited nearly two months) . I believe not many are successful so be prepared to persue an appeal . I've recently won mine and although very stressful ,it was only five months from start to finish .
    Did you have a home assessment? If so you must have a supportive gp which is a good start .
    Know how you feel though. They make you feel like a bum a liar and everything in between . But they don't know you ,you do.

  5. #5
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    yeah i did,ive sent a copy of the letter again with the typed letter i sent and also a letter showing ive applied for a house move from here on health grounds.there was so much stuff this guy never addressed though helen,apart from all the physical pain im scared to go out have been for a while...i feel like the whole world hates me.im completely irrational about meeting new people especially men.i really dont like driving so much anymore.ive got no confidence at all and now im having even more problems with my ex and thats making me feel worse i could quite cheerfully not go out ever and somedays when the fridge is full i dont.curtains are drawn even when the sun is shining,none of this was discussed it was all based on the physical things which even then he seems to have completely ommited or just plain lied about.

  6. #6
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    also im really confused now about the severe disability payment which ive been awarded ive had about 3,200 back pay what will happen now will those bi weekly payments stop now the esa has?and will they try to reclaim the back pay?no one explains anything to you apart from forums like this.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by superten67 View Post
    yeah i did,ive sent a copy of the letter again with the typed letter i sent and also a letter showing ive applied for a house move from here on health grounds.there was so much stuff this guy never addressed though helen,apart from all the physical pain im scared to go out have been for a while...i feel like the whole world hates me.im completely irrational about meeting new people especially men.i really dont like driving so much anymore.ive got no confidence at all and now im having even more problems with my ex and thats making me feel worse i could quite cheerfully not go out ever and somedays when the fridge is full i dont.curtains are drawn even when the sun is shining,none of this was discussed it was all based on the physical things which even then he seems to have completely ommited or just plain lied about.
    It sucks but I really do believe that some decisions are made before they even clap eyes on you. Hence why they shirk all the relevant info. Guess they just decide what descriptors you disqualify for and base their report on that ......oh and a few outright lies for good measure !
    Not sure about your other question tbh ,was this back payment for your pip success?

  8. #8
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    no its back pay for the severe disability premium,this is what im saying will that stop now the esa has?cause if not i could possibly survive.
    Last edited by superten67; 11-04-2017 at 09:45 PM.

  9. #9
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    when you go for appeal try and stress the depression more than the physical because ive noticed when people have a physical and a mental problem explaining the two seems to confuse also if they say your fit to work physicaly then it dosnt help them focusing on that.
    so how i would approach this is say your severe deppresion has been brought on by other factors and try and win the appeal on mental health with all the other bits as aggrevating factors?
    the fact you have thought about suicide shows them you have severe mental health issues and the rest of your problems and your past is whats caused it.
    SO make it clear your main problem is deppresion and reasons are your physical problems and your past mental breakdowns ..
    and if your local CAB fill out your appeal it will make it more likely you will win , because i havnt herd of anyone getting PIP/SDP (thats the hard bit) and not getting ESA.. i think a mistake has been made here by the DWP and also that it went on for 18months just dosnt sound right ..you have a very good chance of getting your appeal , and by the way how many points did you get for esa ?

  10. #10
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    Hi superten

    So many people have been treated the same as you with the assessment process, it's wrong and cruel and all for the government to save money,

    All I can say is hang on in there, use this site to vent and get advice,

    The people on here no there stuff and are happy to help
    Stand ya ground you are entitled to this financial help it's just been made difficult for you but true saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger x
    Also get your mp involved ideally a letter from them supporting your MR
    Keep us posted on your progress and chin up xx

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