I am really struggling with this at the moment and have done so pretty much since i was in high school, i was bullied at school and always felt like the odd one out and i feel the same as an adult.I have no friends other than my family and partner and have pretty much no social contact what so ever, i find it hard just to talk on the phone to strangers, i feel like people are always looking at me when i go out etc.
Its so bad at the moment that i can't even go out to order my new motability car,last time i ordered one it took about 5 times of driving to the dealership and becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and ending up going back home, before i finally managed to go inside and do it.
My physical disability is not so obvious, i have a prosthetic leg and most people can't even tell, i feel like every time i go into a dealership they think that nothing is wrong with me.Some days i feel better than others, but 9 times out of 10 i can't face going outside unless im in my car, there has been times where its been so bad that i have ran out of petrol because i could not face going into a petrol station which sounds ridiculous even to me but i just cant help it ,whats worse is that i cant even bring my self to tell me GP as the i just get filled with anxiety and paranoia that they wont believe me! my gp only knows about my physical disability.
today im feeling really down about it, i was reallly looking forward to seeing what new cars where on the motability list today and now that its crunch time and i can go an order the axiety and paranioa has kicked in full force, im hopeing i feel better soon i hate feeling like this
The funny thing is i know this is absolutely ridiculous i just dont know why i feel like this