Does work define who you are?

[Lighttouch]

I've just watched an interesting programme tonight about work today and at the end it raised the question - does work define who you are?

As I'm leaving work early due to ill health I am surprised how some people I know have now decided to 'shun' me. In other words they don't want to be associated with me as I'm no longer going to be in their gang/club call it what you will.

The big question now is how do people define and see me now I'm not working?

I know last time I was out of work it led to the break-up of my marriage after a year out of work - that was 14 years ago. I'm glad I'm not in a relationship now as I remember it caused all sorts of problems - financially, should we keep it a secret.

Last time I was out of work I had a mortgage and interest rates were at an all time high of 15% unlike todays 5%. Luckily I eventually found work but it was an uphill struggle with no support.

Still I guess my main barrier now will be the stigma of not being in work and retiring early - not very sexy.

How do you 'define yourself' if you're not in work? Does it affect your moral, ego and perhaps your sexual appetite!

[treborc]

Well yes when in work your part of the team, the gang , the group, when you leave you become an outsider, it's always been like that even if you work in an office, factory, or where ever, even in the army they did once segregate people who were leaving.

thats life sadly.

[Maurice]

Touch you wont believe this i got my brother a job where i had worked for 28 years

Anyway he had been on the dole for years before that he had worked as a subcontractor for a big company in civil engernering turning over himself £70.000 and when i had problems with my cordination and diagnoised with spinal stenois syndrome and had surgery the twat said to me that he was paying for the likes of me on the sick......i have since sold my house in Brum and moved to Weston Super Mare and he still lives in his council house.......yes with all that money he earned he did not buy his house he now does not keep in contact the jelouse bast---d

Keep On Rockin Mozza

[andypandy]

I was medically retired at just 31 and have felt like second class citizen ever since

[Lighttouch]

I was medically retired at just 31 and have felt like second class citizen ever since

AP don't put yourself down. You are unique, an individual with your own life experiences. We can't help the way we are it's just the way it is. It's the person inside everyone inside that counts. I think you're wonderful.

Light xx

[treborc]

Look at the names we use about our selves Broken of Britain, benefit scroungers, and many other names which actually imply we are scroungers or cheats, if we cannot use the right language for our selves what hope do we have....

[froglegs]

I was retired due to ill health aged 29. Spent the next 19 years having surgery after surgery, unable to work, felt like a non person. Finally had my neck replaced with metal and have been doing supported permitted work, 9 hours a week, for the last 3 years, its changed everything about my life.

Unfortunately my health is deteriorating again and I dont think I will be able to continue working for much longer. I was worried enough about losing this income but the welfare changes and shifting attitudes demonising the disabled fill me with terror. I dont want to lose the self esteem and confidence I've built up over the last 3 years bur I can already feel it beginning to slip away.

I am afraid to look ahead at the moment, genuinely scared.

[pam s]

Well I was finished in the civil service after 19 years service,They didn't award me my pension after all i was only 45[even though the managers thought i should get it] and with the benefit cuts then i'm not even going to get them as i was paid a small lump sum to tide me over.

All those people i worked with said they'd keep in touch and you know what only one as and i feel that's for her convienance sees me half an hour every few weeks.

I must admit when i have to look and keep an interest on the big benefits change it upsets me not only for all those that genuinely need the help but also because i did like my job,especially the state pension side.I now try to focus on the things i enjoy doing when my health allows which i didn't have time for when i was at work.

Don't put yourself down Andy Pandy, you have done such a lot over the years, I knew your postings from the past and am sorry to see many of them have decided not to re-register.

[treborc]

Well most of the people from the old site are around I see many on other forums, others have retired and gone, some are on BBC ouch, but give it time.

[Cathycat]

I did feel a bit lost after I had to stop working- I was in civil service too and whenever I had to fill a form in or someone asked what I did for a living then I had a title to give. But after finishing work I found myself wondering who I was- when I had my job I had a "label" for what role I had in life- so to speak. But I was quite taken aback at how I felt after I no longer had that label- after having used it for many years. I did honestly feel lost for a while.
But now- despite being ill I am my own person now- a lot of what made me "me" had been removed by the civil service- my creative side for example and it's slowly been returning. I can fully identify with how people feel defined by their job though- and unfortunately the title of benefit claimant has indeed become vilified in some sections of the media - we just have to be strong though and stay true to ourselves- there is an individual person behind every job title or claimant title and we define what's us- not our "label."