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Thread: Sex challenges with a disability (graphic info) SERIOUS DISCUSSION PLEASE!!

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Sex challenges with a disability (graphic info) SERIOUS DISCUSSION PLEASE!!

    First, I need to give you an idea of my disability so let me paint you a picture.

    First off, I cannot extend my arms at the elbows very far (like in the 30-something degree range of motion), my balance is pretty bad, I cannot stand for very long, and cannot sit on my knees (because of said balance) and I weigh 101 pounds. Its a form of muscular dystrophy called Emery Dreyfus (however its spelled) and it sucks when you're trying to have sex.

    I have met a very special woman who makes every day brighter and wonderful. She's 29, able bodied but not very strong, beautiful, sweet, warm hearted, loving, slightly taller than me and weighs more (of course who doesn't weigh more than me lol). Anywho, we're having intimacy problems because we can't get a good position that feels pleasurable for both of us. so far the best thing is kind of like reverse cowgirl on the couch but there was no way to make eye contact but it felt really good for both of us. Problem with that is, we can't always have a couch around so we need something that can be done in bed. Having her facing me when she's on top doesn't seem to work in bed nor does full reverse cowgirl in bed for some reason...we don't understand why. I don't have the strength to push myself up into her when she's on top. I'd like to go old school and do missionary but its hard to get on top of her. Is anyone out there having the same problems? Please I really need serious feedback people...I cannot stress that enough!!!

  2. #2
    Can you not sit up on the bed, resting your back on the headboard, and she sit astride you? Ingenuity adds to the enjoyment!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Well Jay there speaks a person with experience!

    Well here's an obvious trial position. You lying on the bed flat and she sat astride of you facing forward so you can see the whites of her eyes as she delights at your manhood.

    Incidentally remember that you can pleasure your lady friend using your good hand. I mean I could give you loads of tips but I'm not sure that this is the right forum and it's before the watershed! lol

    Half the fun is just experimenting in my humble opinion - are there any more enlightened ladies who might throw some light on what you think?

  4. #4
    Post it LT, with a warning. This is a support & advice site. What is been done here is about helping someone is genuine need. We have the right to a decent sex life, that is not rude, perverted or pornographic.

    I am not sure how to advise on this, but I might suggest that through your doctor you see a sex therapist that have experience in this area.
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Stephen

  5. #5
    I have nothing to add,
    but love will find a way
    all the best for the future and good luck to you both

  6. #6
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    Jay, I have tried that position...doesn't work too well but thanks for trying! I neglected to mention I also have a curved spine to where my back does not even touch the headboard or any type of seating back support and my neck cannot bend my head to look down and both of my arms cannot straighten completely, so I really don't have a good hand lol. LT, that was our first position and it did lackluster at best but thank you anyway! Thank you all for such great ideas/advice! Keep em' coming if anyone else has an idea. And Richard...thank you for the good luck wishes.

  7. #7
    What about having some piece of furniture made to suit your needs in bed? I think you do need professional advice & support on this one.Your physical limits & needs, & your safety are an issue. Most Health Authorities do offer services, if they do not meet your needs they should know of someone who can help.
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Stephen

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    Thanks again Stephen. I'll definitely take that into consideration!

  9. #9
    Our LA's moving and handling team were very upfront about this and talked about things they would try and make or offer. We didn't need to take them up on the offer but maybe contacting them (do you already have a hoist? They worked that into one persons routine!) or contacting an OT? Hopefully you'll find a solution soon,

    IronSide

  10. #10
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    Sorry but at the moment, we have to be discreet but when we can be more open about our sex life and have our own full privacy, we will DEFINITELY consider that when we can IronSide. Thanks!

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