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Thread: Mother took DLA money

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by stree View Post
    I bow to your superior knowledge of the workings of the law then...........and of course your intimate knowledge of the people and circumstances involved. You seem confident of an open and shut case..........far be it from me to shatter that illusion.....
    CPS would throw it out charges if any would be dropped lack of evidence most likely , but it maybe something up our now common purpose police's street

  2. #12
    Unfortunately I think may well happen more than we will know and I find it very sad that anyone would want to steal monies from a vulnerable person ( if that is what has happened. Even more so when it is a parent of the vulnerable person!
    This is going to be very difficult.
    Sea Queen

  3. #13
    There is no need for your sarcasm. Or is it because i have a different opinion than you have.
    If someone has a different to yours you spit your dummy out.
    Last edited by gus607; 02-27-2018 at 12:52 PM.

  4. #14
    Ok first of all can we all calm down please.


    This is supposed to be a safe and welcoming place for all. Regular and occasional posters both.


    Secondly, as to points of law, no matter of the value taken, or the circumstances, as far as the law is concerned if she was his appointee there is nothing illegal there. It’s not nice, it’s not pretty but the law rarely is.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by qwerty View Post
    Hello, just looking for some advice. Basically my time to apply for PIP has come around so I decided to check the date I went on to DLA for my records. I knew it was 2010 some time, but on the phone they told me I have been on DLA since 2001. It transpires my mother claimed for me as a child and then when I became an adult hoodwinked me into signing over apointeeship (told me it was so I didn't have to speak on the phone) when I was 16. My mother took 7 years worth of my adult DLA and didn't spend a penny of it on my needs. I was claiming incapacity benefit and paid for everything out of that, even board.

    In 2010 when I left home she told me she'd applied for DLA for me and I'd been accepted. I have never questioned the story as it seemed plausible and I had no idea about disability benefits. Now I know she just switched the money to my bank account.

    So now what do I do? Only my wife knows at the moment and we're at a loss. My own mother has basically used my fear of speaking on the phone as a kid to take thousands off me. Should she be reported for benefit fraud? I don't know the law here so was hoping someone else might help. Thanks.
    I am sorry , but you are going to put this down to a very bad experience, life is to short. Shame on your mother.

  6. #16
    Thank you for finding the quote, nukecad. And Thanks to everyone else for their input.

    I realise getting any form of justice for what my mum did is going to be extremely tough. It's not even the money side of it that upsets me so much, I was brought up with the beliefs (that I still hold now) that lying and stealing are the two worst things - however bad a situation is, anything can be sorted by telling the truth. Yet the woman that helped instil them beliefs has done this.

    I also now understand that by being my appointee, she was lawfully allowed my money. There is so much more to it though, the fact that she lied to me about what an appointee was just to gain access to my funds is surely not allowed. Also that she gave me my Incapacity Benefit to spend as I pleased shows that she had no qualms about me being able to spend my own money, and the fact that I had no outgoings (apart from board to her) means I didn't need her to control my finances.

    I read on the government site that an appointee has to spend the money in the best interests of the person they're looking after. The fact that she spent none of the money on me is also breaching the rules.

    I'm not sure if I would want to open the can of worms that would be going to the authorities, but why should she get away with it when she clearly had no care for my feelings for all them years?

    She clearly got used to having the extra money when I was a kid and then when I came of age (16 or 18 with benefits, I'm not sure?) she didn't want to lose that money so concocted this plan without my knowledge.

  7. #17
    Senior Member
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    Qwerty, I'm so sad you've found yourself in such an unenviable position. I think you've got every right to feel angry, betrayed and dissapointed with your mum, my thoughts are, is this something that in time you can forgive her for? Did she spend the money providing you and the family a decent standard of living, which means she tried to do the best for everyone, or did she spend it enjoying herself? What was your relationship like before this all came to light? Can you rely on her emotional support if you needed it?

    If you try to use any laws against her you will never recover any of the beneficial aspects of your relationship with her, are you prepared for that? If she is selfish and you don't think you can recover your relationship with her sometimes you've got no choice but to wipe your mouth and cut yourself off from her, she will always know what she did to deserve it and you'll always know you were in the right.

    Sometimes when family members are toxic you are better off without them in your life, but you have to imagine your life without them in it before you conclude anything.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Archersmate View Post
    Sometimes when family members are toxic you are better off without them in your life, but you have to imagine your life without them in it before you conclude anything.

    Amen to that. Think very carefully.

  9. #19
    Hello again.

    So I took what seemed to be the general advice about thinking carefully about what to do, and instead of rushing into things we decided to get all the available evidence in writing from various benefit agencies, which has taken a while. (I have to give credit to my wife for this as she phones places on my behalf.)

    We've had confirmed I was on Incapacity Benefit and the only money I received from my mum matches the rates so she definitely never gave me any of my DLA.

    We also found out the exact amount she took off me which was just over £24,000.

    The really interesting thing that we came across in our investigations was that my mum's guardianship over me ended a day before my 16th birthday BUT the appointeeship didn't start until just after my 18th birthday. That means that if she argues she's done nothing wrong because she was my appointee then there is in fact 2 years and nearly £6,000 worth of money she DID take fraudulently.

    I spoke with my mum earlier this month and thought I'd give her one last chance to come clean. I said I needed my benefit history in case it comes up during my PIP assessment. She told me I was on DLA until 16, then at college with no income, then Incapacity from 18 until I was 23, then I went on to DLA. Still doesn't have the balls to tell me, no shame that woman.

    One of my other family members is ill at the moment and I don't want any family arguments to hinder his recovery so I will wait until he's fit and well and then confront her.

    Thanks for listening.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by qwerty View Post
    Hello again.

    So I took what seemed to be the general advice about thinking carefully about what to do, and instead of rushing into things we decided to get all the available evidence in writing from various benefit agencies, which has taken a while. (I have to give credit to my wife for this as she phones places on my behalf.)

    We've had confirmed I was on Incapacity Benefit and the only money I received from my mum matches the rates so she definitely never gave me any of my DLA.

    We also found out the exact amount she took off me which was just over £24,000.

    The really interesting thing that we came across in our investigations was that my mum's guardianship over me ended a day before my 16th birthday BUT the appointeeship didn't start until just after my 18th birthday. That means that if she argues she's done nothing wrong because she was my appointee then there is in fact 2 years and nearly £6,000 worth of money she DID take fraudulently.

    I spoke with my mum earlier this month and thought I'd give her one last chance to come clean. I said I needed my benefit history in case it comes up during my PIP assessment. She told me I was on DLA until 16, then at college with no income, then Incapacity from 18 until I was 23, then I went on to DLA. Still doesn't have the balls to tell me, no shame that woman.

    One of my other family members is ill at the moment and I don't want any family arguments to hinder his recovery so I will wait until he's fit and well and then confront her.

    Thanks for listening.
    I feel for you, what an awful position to be in, hope your relative gets better soon? Good luck with the confrontation. Take care.

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