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Thread: Need help for my son

  1. #1

    Need help for my son

    My first post here.
    My son will be 18 on the 29th/9/2018 He has aspergers, ADHD, separation anxiety disorder, and used to suffer oppositional defiance disorder but he's grown out of that one.

    My problem is that he won't leave the house. He has never been to school, well, he went for 4 weeks when he was 4 but couldn't handle it so I home educated him. He's not agoraphobic but he has a fear of going out as he can't deal with people and gets angry. He panics and will lash out in difficult situations and is afraid he will hurt someone or get into a fight and get hurt himself. He will go out with myself, his father and our daughters but not alone. So as you can imagine work is not an option. But we can't support him for the rest of our lives, so he need some sort of benefits but we have no idea how to claim or what to claim. He won't go to a centre for assessment as that means talking to people. We just don't know where to turn. We'd also like to get him some sort of help but not sure what. He's highly intelligent and could make something of himself. I hate to see him missing out on life, he's already said he will never have a girlfriend because he might hit her in an argument. We no longer have Christmas dinner as he can't handle it when all the family are round. Last Christmas there was a massive fight between him, our daughter and their father which resulted in me and my other daughter getting in between them all. It was not a happy christmas.

    Thank you for reading.

  2. #2
    Your starting point should be your (son's) GP, you could also try your Local Authority's Social Services ask for their Adult Services Dept, yes your family and son in particular certainly need help.

    NB: the benefits issue is a completely separate matter, you should contact a local Benefits Advisor like CAB about that.
    Last edited by Jard; 09-27-2018 at 02:12 PM.

  3. #3
    Thank you for your reply. I would take him to our GP but he refuses to go. He doesn't want things sorted out because he can't see a way to sort things out that doesn't scare him and involve having to join society. It's a really awful situation. He doesn't want to go out with me any more because he "looks like a loser" going out with his mum.

  4. #4
    Senior Member nukecad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    West Cumbria (Lake District)
    Hi Pagan,

    There are other members here with very similar situations, (I think phaedra in particular has just been through similar with her son), hopefully they will be along soon to offer their experiences and advice.

    In the meantime, have you found/tried these resources:
    I don't know everything. - But I'm good at searching for, and finding, stuff.

    Migration from ESA to Universal Credit- Click here for information.

  5. #5
    Thank you, I will have a look at the links.

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