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Thread: please help me, i cant work due to my mums benefits?!

  1. #1

    please help me, i cant work due to my mums benefits?!

    Hello there,

    I live with my mother and she, unfortunately, disabled. she receives various benefits, which I cant name all of them as she prefers not to tell me but I do no for definite shes is on the highest rate disability benefit, home income, also she receives child maintenance from my father, along with a lot of other benefits. she does not work either. Im nearly 18 and of course I need t start getting myself into the working world but she said I cant as if i do she will loose all of her benefits!! Honestly, its so distressing knowing i cat sart making a life for myself because accourding to her if i do it will put us on the street due to no money!! i just dont know what to do, i dont know whether this is true or not?! i survive off 70 pound per month, i cant do this anymore, please shed some light..:'(

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by staffordsgirl View Post
    Hello there,

    I live with my mother and she, unfortunately, disabled. she receives various benefits, which I cant name all of them as she prefers not to tell me but I do no for definite shes is on the highest rate disability benefit, home income, also she receives child maintenance from my father, along with a lot of other benefits. she does not work either. Im nearly 18 and of course I need t start getting myself into the working world but she said I cant as if i do she will loose all of her benefits!! Honestly, its so distressing knowing i cat sart making a life for myself because accourding to her if i do it will put us on the street due to no money!! i just dont know what to do, i dont know whether this is true or not?! i survive off 70 pound per month, i cant do this anymore, please shed some light..:'(
    You working should not effect your mothers entitlement. Unless you are a partner (which of course you are not) then whatever you get wont effect her even though you live in the same household. As such whatever income you get not effect your mothers. You are classed as an adult in terms of benefits, so in essence you could apply for benefits or start to work.

    DWP definition 'the definition of a household used is a single adult, or a married or cohabiting couple and any dependent children. (Here, an adult is defined as an individual aged 16 or over, unless defined as a dependent child'

    Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/upload...i-551-2012.pdf

  3. #3
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    No, it will not 'put you on the street'.
    Firstly, as I understand it, any child maintenance (from your dad, i assume) would end at 18 anyway, though in truth I thought that it should have ended at 16, (but i'm not up on maintenance issues). Are you in further education?
    It's a tricky one. Her DLA (if she gets it), won't be affected. Her ESA (if she gets it) might be affected BUT only some of it, the 'premiums' part of it, IF indeed she gets any premiums for you added to her ESA.
    If you go to work to earn money then yes, it would affect any housing benefit/council tax benefit BUT if you were working, you could help out with the difference.
    Though to be honest, at 18 you have a life, so please please go live it. If not, you will spend the rest of your young life being held back.
    I'm sure there will be somebody far more compassionate online soon,lol. Good luck.

  4. #4
    Hi, if you are still in full time education, the maintenance from your dad will end when you are 20, if your nit it should have end when you left school/college.

  5. #5
    Senior Member flowerangelx's Avatar
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    Sorry to say, but I think your mother is being slightly selfish here. She should want you to go out and earn your own money etc instead of relying on benefits also! She also appears to be emotionally blackmailing you.

    As you are nearly 18, you have every right to want to get into the working world. It may end up that you need to move out so you can do this without your mother guilt tripping you - if you are her carer, you can still be classed as her carer if you are not living there.

    I don't see why your mother has a problem with it - Surely you would be able to pay board to top up anything she loses if you start working?

    Sorry if this sounded harsh - I'm in a very matter of fact mood today.

  6. #6
    Please do not listen to your mother.

    I speak from personal experience, my daughter has known for years that her mother is dependent on the extra benefits she receives for her being there to be able to pay the rent (she rents privately) as it costs more than she gets in housing benefit (LHA). That is not a responsibility a chiild/young adult should be burdened with.

    She is now 19 and is currently getting counselling for depression and anxiety attacks as a result Barnardos have referred her to a housing group that will provide supported accommodation for up to a year and to be honest the sooner she is out the better it will be for her.

    Your mother will manage, you must take care of yourself first or you will be in no position to help your mum in the future.

  7. #7
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    Very true flowerangelx, well put.

    BUT, but, Staffordsgirls's mum is definitely worried about something! Could it be that her mum feels that once Staffordsgirl starts working, starts getting out there, that she (her mum) would lose her lifeline, her carer, her companion???
    Now i'm thinking, and i should never do that,lol!!

  8. #8
    Senior Member flowerangelx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ivb View Post
    Very true flowerangelx, well put.

    BUT, but, Staffordsgirls's mum is definitely worried about something! Could it be that her mum feels that once Staffordsgirl starts working, starts getting out there, that she (her mum) would lose her lifeline, her carer, her companion???
    Now i'm thinking, and i should never do that,lol!!
    I get that her mother is probably worried about that..but to try and stop her daughter from living her life is a tad wrong!

  9. #9
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    It does seem wrong - it IS wrong.
    Now i'm thinking about how i'm gonna feel when my kids leave home. Wayyyyyy to deep for me,lol.

  10. #10
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    Me has been thinking and maybe she's just scared of being alone! That's my input. Poor woman.

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