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Thread: mental health and me

  1. #1
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    mental health and me

    hi everyone, i'm new on here, find it a little confusing. My name is norton, long term sufferer of mental illness, due to see a psychiatrist (spelling?) might have a mood disorder? bi polar? suffer on a daily basis, from cleaning myself, presenting myself, motivation to do house work or exercise, about the only thing that i'm normally ok with is walking the dog, which i think is because i do it alone. I'm very moody, get angry very easily even though i don't usually shout or hit anyone, i've never really been able to work for any long period of time, just cant talk to people when i'm at work so I find myself standing around or hiding in case someone talks to me, I dont think people know or understand how bad it is because I can still socialise, but if they watched me they would see me staring at the tvs so no one talks to me, sometimes i'm told i behave badly, specially when I drink, that I say or do things that I think are funny when they might actually upset people. I haven't been violent with anyone that was my fault in well over 10 years even though i do feel like doing so. Also I never have a good night sleep, the most is 6 hours and i'm usually awake at some point during that time too, i find it hard to get a sleep and then difficult to wake up, I have no caffeine in my diet, I claim Esa, only thing I thought I could claim amd I live with my mother, My partner is pregnant with my 1st but we dont even live together because I would get benefits if we did so, I'm not looking forward to being a dad, I don't think I would be good at it, and I don't believe I'm responsible enough for it, and I cant see that changing, my partner is keeping baby regardless so its up to me, either I stay with her or I leave her, but in that case she has said she wont let me see the baby, anyways my head is a spin, my life is a mess but that's me. Your welcome to befriend me on here or comment on this post, not sure how this site works as yet. xx

  2. #2
    I think you sound like you need some sort of outside help and just hope you get it quickly as I know these things take time. You have made a start in getting well by asking for help. That Is good.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by KAREN SV View Post
    I think you sound like you need some sort of outside help and just hope you get it quickly as I know these things take time. You have made a start in getting well by asking for help. That Is good.
    thanks karen,

    I have started to try with mutual support meetings at a charity, and the meds i'm on, sometimes i can see light at the end of the tunnel but then other times I dont, not working doesnt help but then again i honestly dont think if i did have a job I would keep it for long, benefits dont help either, the process and all that, don't like to make it simple do they? even looking at a job vacancy really makes me anxious,, even with the intention of applying, lol feel anxoius everyday, emotional everyday and that both good and bad emotions, not sure how severe this is, i can see why I might be bi polar but then again i've met a few people with it and can't see much of myself in them

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by norton View Post
    thanks karen,

    I have started to try with mutual support meetings at a charity, and the meds i'm on, sometimes i can see light at the end of the tunnel but then other times I dont, not working doesnt help but then again i honestly dont think if i did have a job I would keep it for long, benefits dont help either, the process and all that, don't like to make it simple do they? even looking at a job vacancy really makes me anxious,, even with the intention of applying, lol feel anxoius everyday, emotional everyday and that both good and bad emotions, not sure how severe this is, i can see why I might be bi polar but then again i've met a few people with it and can't see much of myself in them
    BI Polor is just one of many mental health problems Norton and there are many others similar. You do definitely sound like you need help to deal with all this and perhaps accept things yourself.

    I have psychology too and there has not been any year when I have not had "some" help but I know what you mean about work too. Its a vicious circle isn't it. Sounds like you need to be kind to yourself a little bit and show yourself some compassion and stop beating yourself up and trying to run when you have so much going on.by the sounds of it. I just hope that you get your help really soon and like I say, keep on at your GP for this.

  5. #5
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    yeah i understand, but it feels like people outside of the mental health system don't, my partner, my mother, seem to to think i should be able work now i'm expecting a baby, i've told them nothing will likely change in that respect, I always feel like benefits could be scrapped at any time, due to the nature of the beast and if my partner takes time off to look after the baby after meternity leave then we will have less ability to cope,her ambition is to have a family and work part time, i don't know how she can expect that with me, as me having work would be essential, but she has those goals and thats it, i'm not really considered, she wont have a termination, and if i leave her wont let me see the child, i just feel like absolutely everything in my life is out of my controll, bit of a rant their lol

  6. #6
    And also Norton. Some people think they have mental health problems that are within the "diagnosis" band but don't actually fit any. They just have not had the help that was needed at the right time and its spiralled out of control. The mind is a powerfull thing. No one likes to feel out of control or inferior to others and THEY ARE NOT, its just that they think they are, we are equals. I really hope you get your life sorted with help and perhaps it will be that you never get a "label".

    Depression can come about for all sorts of reasons and some people who have worked in the past and were able to socialise well become recluses because of life events. I have no idea of your situation but I do know that there is light because you are here asking for help and going to meetings and perhaps you are wanting things to happen too soon. Things take time. Give yourself time and compassion.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by norton View Post
    yeah i understand, but it feels like people outside of the mental health system don't, my partner, my mother, seem to to think i should be able work now i'm expecting a baby, i've told them nothing will likely change in that respect, I always feel like benefits could be scrapped at any time, due to the nature of the beast and if my partner takes time off to look after the baby after meternity leave then we will have less ability to cope,her ambition is to have a family and work part time, i don't know how she can expect that with me, as me having work would be essential, but she has those goals and thats it, i'm not really considered, she wont have a termination, and if i leave her wont let me see the child, i just feel like absolutely everything in my life is out of my controll, bit of a rant their lol
    Sorry, I had not realised you had posted this too.

    It sounds a stressful time for you and your girlfriend too. Have you thought about claiming Personal Independence payments? Its a long drawn out process but you are supposedly allowed to claim if you have mental health problems too that are disabling? I have no idea of your circumstances but it may be worth a try.

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