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Thread: Family and Friends

  1. #1
    New Member
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    Family and Friends

    Hi, I just wondered if anyone could offer some practical advice. Over the last year, I have become increasingly isolated due to my disability. I can only go out if someone is with me. I now need more help with my personal hygiene. This has resulted in my relationship with my husband going from partners to him becoming my carer. My friends are very thin on the ground, and have stopped contacting me, and don't answer when I contact them. I think they feel uncomfortable because I need help with the toilet, and don't want to get involved with that aspect of my life.
    Please don't think I feel sorry for myself, I just wondered if there was maybe a penpal site where you can talk/write to people who may be in a similar situation.
    I'm tired of feeling lonely, and feel bad for my husband and children as they are the ones having to provide a 'social life' for me, and at times, although I know they love me, they want to do their own thing.
    If anyone has any advice, I would be grateful.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lighttouch's Avatar
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    Well Katey, it would seem you're fairly new to this business of disability and it's no easy task coming to grips with the fact you are now a disabled person.

    You've past the first stage by actually redefining yourself as a disabled person and you've made contact with a small bunch of friendly supportive disabled you can share your thoughts with.

    It's an interesting thought to have a pen friend to chat with. I realise that you might just want to talk and have someone listen. But, should you need more practical advice I'm happy to email you and share what I've found works and give you some ideas - it's not all doom and gloom.

    Just leave your email on this thread until I get in touch then you can always edit and delete the post if you don't want your email address in the public forum.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for replying. My email is: and I would appreciate any practical advice you could give. I guess I'm finding it difficult to adjust to how my life has become, although I have been disabled for a good few years. I just want to move on with a positive outlook, but am finding it tough.
    Thanks again for taking the time to reply, and it is nice to have people listen and help, much appreciated.
    Last edited by kateyh03; 23-06-14 at 08:24.

  4. #4
    Senior Member catlover's Avatar
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    Hi Katey

    I would not put your email address on a public forum, especially without any additional spaces or anything as it can be picked up by software that scans the internet and you could find yourself inundated with spam. Please at least edit it so that it has a space where there is no space (so that any scan will not pick up your correct email address). If you then say what you've added, Lighttouch will be able to work out what your email address is.

    I'm sorry you're feeling isolated. I know what you mean as I don't go out much. Accessibility issues can be a problem and after a while people just stop asking. Is there anyone else who can help with your care needs so that you aren't so dependent on your husband and children?

  5. #5
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    Hi catlover, thanks for your advice, have removed it. Unfortunately I don't have anyone else who can help me, my Mum is of the mindset that I'm just lazy (!) and doesn't really understand my medical issues. I just get a bit lonely, and don't want to be so dependant on my husband and children, especially my children. They've had to help me with laces, buttons, zips, getting about etc...and it's hard when your children are taking care of you, when it should be the other way round.
    Last edited by kateyh03; 23-06-14 at 08:25.

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